Skip to main content

State of Double-Mindedness: Ontological Conflicts

Thought:

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. . . he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

James 1:5-6


As I evaluate new clients, I mentally place their emotional distress or psychological problems on a continuum. On the far right end of this continuum are those whose lives have been going pretty well. They are surprised by the development of a psychological condition. They haven't made any recent changes, they like their job, their children are doing well, and the marriage is strong. As I listen to their list of new symptoms, I see a biological illness. This is the right end of the continuum; the presenting issue is primarily a physical condition.

At the far left end of the continuum are individuals whose lives are undergoing significant change. These clients' life stress scores are very high(for more information about this, please see below). They have been undergoing difficulties for awhile and now feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and helpless. I can sense their desperation and frustration. Their reported symptoms do not match well with a condition of a mental disorder, instead their psychological problems seem to be based on a situational predicament.

It is this left end of the continuum I would like to focus on for the next few weeks.

There is a common theme to situational problems. It is this: clients' problems often are rooted in ontological confusion. Let me explain. Ontology is the philosophical study of the state of being or existence. In other words, each of us have unconsciously or deliberately defined the nature of ourselves and the basic fabric of our lives. This definition either isn't working well or is conflicted. For example, a PETA volunteer who works in at a butcher shop probably isn't very happy. This individual's work life is in conflict with his core belief that that all life, even an animal's, is sacred. Many people have similar ontological conflicts, but either don't recognize the psychological discord or don't know what to do about the clash of beliefs.

Today's verses address this double-minded state. This Scripture calls us to live a life that is in agreement with itself. Over the next few weeks I would like to explore five ontological issues to help us untangle our internal conflicts.



Note:

Drs. Holmes and Rahe, psychiatrists at University of Washington Medical School, have devised a list of stressful events. An individual who scores over a 150 is at risk of experiencing an illness. For more information or to take the Life Stress Scale, please visit the following link: http://www.martinvcohen.com/stressscale.html

Comments

  1. Very interesting. I look forward to the upcoming articles.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Narcissism: Understanding the Effects of Narcissistic Parenting

Since Freud, researchers have studied various environmental effects on maturing personalities, and it has been well documented that parenting styles are profoundly involved in the shaping of children’s developing psyches. It is hard enough working with a narcissistic boss or living with a narcissistic spouse, but being raised by narcissistic parents has several serious emotional consequences. What are some of these effects? Dr. Paul Meier in his book, You Might Be a Narcissist If . . . How to Identify Narcissism in Ourselves and Others and what We Can Do About It , identifies four consequences of narcissistic parenting. They are: 1) the  development of a false self; 2) the desire to behave with perfectionism; 3) chronic habits of passivity; and 4) increased vulnerability to addictive behaviors. The Development of a False Self Since narcissistic parents unconsciously need others to help soothe their fragile sense of self, they naturally turn to any available relationsh...

Tip #2: Empathy--- The Art of Reflective Listening

Thought: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 My father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer several years ago. We got the news in mid-March. After doing some internet research, we knew that his time would be short. We also discovered that most treatments were palliative, not curative. There was no remission or cure for this type of cancer. I was shocked. My grief started when I realized what this diagnosis meant. My father-in-law died four short months later. I shared his condition with various communities: my colleagues at work, my own family, and my church community. Some people were appropriately supportive. With them I found I could be honest about my feelings and reactions. Ot...

Narcissists in Love—Brief Examination of Narcissism in Marriage, Part 1

In healthy marriages, couples easily move in and out of intimacy. There are periods of time when the two individuals allow themselves to merge physically and psychologically, and other periods of time when the two people are encouraged to be separate, autonomous individuals. No one person controls the other partner, but rather there is mutual support. The couple values each other’s differences and tolerates each other’s shortcomings. There is an implicit understanding that the marriage becomes richer when the membersʼ individuality is nurtured. Marriage to narcissists is much different. Control is the key component in these relationships. Narcissists need their partners to admire and pump up their fragile self-esteem. They long for a complete merger with their spouse. Their partner’s autonomy and individuality is consumed by the narcissist’s need. Only the narcissist’s goals and desires are pursued. The person who marries a narcissist learns to submit. This person is ...