Psychological Matters

I have been making some changes! First off, some of you may have noticed that this blog's name recently switched from "Living Life 2 the Fullest" to "Psychological Matters." Now the address will be changing. All future articles can be found at https://kerrymcavoy.com I have also been making some other modifications and additions this year. A few months ago I created a counseling website that features information about my counseling practice. It makes sense to host this blog on that site since they share a common theme.  So, going forward this blog will be hosted there. As I have shared before, I have also been writing. Two years ago I published two paperback devotionals called Jesus, The Ultimate Therapist: Bringing Hope and Healing and Jesus, The Ultimate Therapist: Healing Without Limits . The Kindle ebook versions were made available last summer.  Now, I am back at work on the third book in the series. This latest book is scheduled to be released ea...

Thought: "Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you." Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him. The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see." "Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road." Mark 10:46-52 How do people change? This is the billion dollar question. Imagine the money ...

Thought: "For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me." John 6:3 I am going to let you in on a therapist's secret. It's this: you can't change another person, no matter how much you ask, beg or plead. They just won't do it. If you don't believe me, ask a spouse or a parent of a heroin addict. They'll tell you. They will have tried crying, screaming, threatening, and even manipulating their drug addicted loved one to no avail. People don't change because you ask them too; they only change when and if they want to. Jesus knew this. You never saw him asking someone to change. He didn't try to stop Judas from selling him out (John 13:26-30). He didn't throw Peter out of the group of disciples despite Peter's immaturity (Matthew 16:22-24). He didn't even tell Martha to leave her sister, Mary, alone (Luke 10:38-41). He understood this principle and followed it. You would think that if anyone co...

Merry Christmas! I am so grateful for the gift of Jesus. He loves us so much that he doesn't come in with power and glory, but as a tiny, frail baby. He doesn't appear in a glorious fiery entrance, but instead by birth in a humble, cold, dark stable. It's because of his humility that we are able to approach him. How amazing and fantastic that he comes to show us God. After the new year starts, I will continue the series on interpersonal boundaries. I hope each of you has a wonderful holiday season. It is my prayer that in 2010 the wonder of Jesus' love fills you in new and surprising ways.

Thought: . . While his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you? "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" Luke 2:43, 48-49 Lately I have been thinking about interpersonal boundaries. In counseling it comes up frequently as an issue. How much control do we have over the daily decisions of our lives? Who makes the decisions and why? Who suffers the consequences? How much do I share of myself and my opinions with those around me? How comfortable am I with conflict and how do I go about dealing with unresolved disagreements between myself and others? All of these questions have to do with interpersonal boundaries. I thought I would spend a few weeks focusing on these types of ques...

Thought: “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15: 20 (For whole story, please see Luke 15: 11-31) Thanksgiving Day is almost here and I have been thinking about what I am thankful for. I heard a great sermon recently that helped me in this endeavor. Though the story is familiar, the pastor presented a new slant that sheds light on God's amazing love. I found myself very thankful to God once again. Sermons usually focus on the prodigal son and his outrageous, selfish behavior. However, the pastor shared that the father in the story is the main character, not the prodigal son. Maybe instead of focusing on the son's rebelliousness, we should concentrate on the father's equally outrageous loving behavior. The pastor reminded us of the Old Testament Jewish law regarding disobedient sons. Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 tells us that rebellious sons are to be bro...

Thought: "…there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24b In previous blogs I have covered what I consider to be the most important aspects of compassionate support. They are: 1. Be patient. Everyone experiences pain differently. Each of us will have our own expressions of suffering and our own healing time. 2. Be Accepting. Not everyone shows pain the same way or grieves alike. 3. Express support by using reflective listening. Be slow to offer advice. Instead show sympathy or empathy by actively listening to the one in pain. 4. Offer tangible support by using one of Gary Chapman's five love languages. Be sure you know which language particularly encourages and ministers to the one you are supporting. Now I would like to encourage you not to make a common mistake. In the counseling office, I have listened to many stories of loss and trauma. There is an error people make when they try to comfort the suffering. Usually it comes from that awkwardness I ...