Psychological Matters

Thought: “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15: 20 (For whole story, please see Luke 15: 11-31) Thanksgiving Day is almost here and I have been thinking about what I am thankful for. I heard a great sermon recently that helped me in this endeavor. Though the story is familiar, the pastor presented a new slant that sheds light on God's amazing love. I found myself very thankful to God once again. Sermons usually focus on the prodigal son and his outrageous, selfish behavior. However, the pastor shared that the father in the story is the main character, not the prodigal son. Maybe instead of focusing on the son's rebelliousness, we should concentrate on the father's equally outrageous loving behavior. The pastor reminded us of the Old Testament Jewish law regarding disobedient sons. Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 tells us that rebellious sons are to be bro

Thought: "…there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24b In previous blogs I have covered what I consider to be the most important aspects of compassionate support. They are: 1. Be patient. Everyone experiences pain differently. Each of us will have our own expressions of suffering and our own healing time. 2. Be Accepting. Not everyone shows pain the same way or grieves alike. 3. Express support by using reflective listening. Be slow to offer advice. Instead show sympathy or empathy by actively listening to the one in pain. 4. Offer tangible support by using one of Gary Chapman's five love languages. Be sure you know which language particularly encourages and ministers to the one you are supporting. Now I would like to encourage you not to make a common mistake. In the counseling office, I have listened to many stories of loss and trauma. There is an error people make when they try to comfort the suffering. Usually it comes from that awkwardness I

Thought: They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch." Mark 14:32-34 Up to now I have been focusing on being emotionally present to those in need. My son who has been a reader of my blog found tip #1 and #2 frustrating. He said he feels like he isn't doing much to help. It is true the first part of caring for another by maintaining a loving, accepting presence might feel like nothing. However, this supportive presence encourages the suffering to freely express their pain and gives them a sense of safety. I think this is the hardest work there is. A few years ago I spent a couple of weeks with someone who was dying. She couldn't be alone so I kept her company. Every day I spent with her was exhaustin