Psychological Matters

Merry Christmas! I am so grateful for the gift of Jesus. He loves us so much that he doesn't come in with power and glory, but as a tiny, frail baby. He doesn't appear in a glorious fiery entrance, but instead by birth in a humble, cold, dark stable. It's because of his humility that we are able to approach him. How amazing and fantastic that he comes to show us God. After the new year starts, I will continue the series on interpersonal boundaries. I hope each of you has a wonderful holiday season. It is my prayer that in 2010 the wonder of Jesus' love fills you in new and surprising ways.

Thought: "As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "'Go sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth." Mark 10:17, 21-22 One of my boys has a large school project. He has procrastinated and now has almost no time left to finish the project. I seriously doubt that it will be done well. He is in high school and hopes to be accepted at a highly competitive college. As a result, his grade point average is very important. This project has the potential to hurt him. I want the best for him. I want him to achieve his goals, so my investment is high too. What should I do? Do I leave it be and let his lack of motivation and la

Thought: "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." John 4:34 When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, "Don't cry." Luke 7:13 So far we have defined interpersonal boundaries as the psychological place that makes up you, called the Self. It is the location where you start and another person ends. I like to visualize it as an actual wall, just like you might find around a castle. However, this wall or boundary can have varying levels of thickness and flexibility. It can be rigidly formed like a brick and mortar wall, or it can be open and undefined, more like my property line. It all depends on you. The next challenge is becoming aware of your type of personal boundary: rigid, fixed and clearly defined vs. open, permeable, and flexible or fluid. This is something you may or may not know about yourself. So let me ask you some questions to help clarify your type of interpersonal bounda

Thought: . . While his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you? "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" Luke 2:43, 48-49 Lately I have been thinking about interpersonal boundaries. In counseling it comes up frequently as an issue. How much control do we have over the daily decisions of our lives? Who makes the decisions and why? Who suffers the consequences? How much do I share of myself and my opinions with those around me? How comfortable am I with conflict and how do I go about dealing with unresolved disagreements between myself and others? All of these questions have to do with interpersonal boundaries. I thought I would spend a few weeks focusing on these types of ques