Psychological Matters

Since Borderline Personality Disorder causes erratic, disruptive emotions and behaviors, it is no surprise that this condition negatively affects familial relationships. Children are particularly vulnerable to these effects since they have limited access to social, emotional, and tangible resources. They also do not have a perspective of normal parenting and cannot limit their contact with the ill parent. Children who have a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder must navigate a constantly changing relationship with that mother or father. Mason and Kreger in their classic book,  Stop Walking on Eggshells (1998), identified the following negative effects of BPD parenting. They have found parents with BPD—  May be unable to adequately consider their child’s needs, wishes, and feelings May be too preoccupied with their personal emotional experience and overlook their child’s needs May substitute their worldview for their child’s (for example, if they hate ...

Since Freud, researchers have studied various environmental effects on maturing personalities, and it has been well documented that parenting styles are profoundly involved in the shaping of children’s developing psyches. It is hard enough working with a narcissistic boss or living with a narcissistic spouse, but being raised by narcissistic parents has several serious emotional consequences. What are some of these effects? Dr. Paul Meier in his book, You Might Be a Narcissist If . . . How to Identify Narcissism in Ourselves and Others and what We Can Do About It , identifies four consequences of narcissistic parenting. They are: 1) the  development of a false self; 2) the desire to behave with perfectionism; 3) chronic habits of passivity; and 4) increased vulnerability to addictive behaviors. The Development of a False Self Since narcissistic parents unconsciously need others to help soothe their fragile sense of self, they naturally turn to any available relationsh...