Psychological Matters

Thought: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 My father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer several years ago. We got the news in mid-March. After doing some internet research, we knew that his time would be short. We also discovered that most treatments were palliative, not curative. There was no remission or cure for this type of cancer. I was shocked. My grief started when I realized what this diagnosis meant. My father-in-law died four short months later. I shared his condition with various communities: my colleagues at work, my own family, and my church community. Some people were appropriately supportive. With them I found I could be honest about my feelings and reactions. Ot

Thought: "When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept." John 11:32-35 I met M. in graduate school. I liked her quiet presence. She had a way of just being with you without saying much. I could tell she was going to be an outstanding therapist. Her insights were amazing when we studied clinical cases. After spending some time together I realized she was quietly suffering. She had chronic depression. You could see it on her face. She looked in pain or troubled by something. She didn't have much energy. M. didn't hang out with the other graduate students after hours. At times her mood dragged me down too. I sometimes was relieved

Thought: "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family." Proverbs 18:24 translation: The Message Yesterday I sat at the doctor's office waiting for my turn. I have had a sinus infection the past few days and wasn't feeling well. The poor soundproofing enabled me to hear the doctor's conversations with the patient next door. The woman sounded awful. Her cough was loud and loose. It was the kind of cough that makes your ribcage ache. I could tell she was very ill. I heard the doctor inform her that she had the flu. He proceeded to tell her what she probably already knew by listing all the over-the-counter medications she could use. She asked how long the symptoms would last. He explained. She followed up by reminding him she had to return to work soon. I heard the sound of frustration in her voice. I suspected this appointment hadn't really helped. She left the building in the same condition she entered it: still running a fever, coug

Thought: "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." Matthew 7:24-25 Wind storms blew through my hometown last week tearing down power lines and damaging trees. I saw the utility company crew out cleaning up the damage and repairing downed power lines. As I walked, I noticed a beautiful old maple tree. It looked worn hard, yet once again it had withstood adverse conditions and thrived. What was different about this tree and the others that were damaged? It reminds me of Jesus' parable found in Matthew 7:21-27. Jesus teaches the crowd around him about the man who built his house on the rock. The rain came, streams rose, and wind blew and beat against it, yet it withstood these stresses and didn't collapse. It is interesting that Jesus d

Thought: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 Heard a lot of bad news lately. A friend and a family member both were told that they have cancer. Neither know the scope of the disease or what treatment will look like. Right now they are facing the unknown with the large word DEATH floating around. This is a horrible place. It doesn't seem to matter where we are in our spiritual journey, it stills seems to bring up the basic, yet profound questions. Like: where is God in this matter? Does my life and my desire matter much to God? What happens when I die? Who does God heal and will I be among those that He touches that way? Does He see me and care? I used to go there. But as a psychologist I have listened to too many painful stories. I've learned just how capable we are of hurting each other and how many times life disappoints us. I've also lea

Thought ". . .let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1 Last night in Grand Rapids, MI a Brooklyn-based artist, Ran Ortner won grand prize in the first annual ArtPrize competition. He is characterized as "a struggling artist." He spent over 30 years pursuing his passion and lived in obscurity until these past few weeks. Mr. Ortner learned of ArtPrize several months ago and painted Open Water no. 24. He entered the largest art competition in the world where he competed against 1262 other art displays. After over 300,000 votes were cast by Grand Rapids visitors, Mr. Ortner won the top prize of $250,000. He shared in an interview how financially challenging it has been pursuing art. He said that for the first time he would have "the resources to work without having to worry about making ends meet." His winnings will go first to pay an overdue pho