Psychological Matters

At least one time in our lives each of us will make the mistake of trusting someone who doesn’t deserve it.  Especially when we consider the statistics that one out of every twenty-five people in the world are individuals with APD (sociopaths). In the best-case scenario, this betrayal only inconvenienced us, but more often we will have been conned, cheated, or abused. How do we recognize and avoid relationships with sociopaths? To protect ourselves, it is important to understand sociopaths’ motivation for developing relationships. Their reasons are not the same as ours! Lacking a conscience, they are unable to form emotional attachments and are disinterested in developing a bond with others.  Instead, they are thrill seekers, and use relationships to achieve this goal. In pursuit of their next big emotional charge, sociopaths tend to cast others into three main roles: “pawns, patrons, or police.” “Pawns” are individuals with little or no social or political ...

At the beginning of my professional career I came across a fascinating book called, The Stranger Beside Me (1989), by Ann Rule. It was a biographical work about Ted Bundy and his killing spree across the United States during the 1970’s. Ms. Rule personally knew Bundy. She briefly worked alongside him at a Hotline Crisis Center. He was a brilliant, attractive man who majored in psychology and went on to obtain a law degree. He would often feign physical injury, such as a injured arm, to lure women to a private location where he could physically overpower them. Before Bundy’s execution in 1989, he confessed to thirty homicides. Published estimates of the actual number of murders committed by Bundy, however, ran as high as 100 women. Ted Bundy is just one infamous serial killer. There have been many others who have grabbed the public’s attention as far back as Jack the Ripper. More recent examples include Kenneth Bianchi, John Wayne Gacy, and Jeffrey Dalmer.  How are such m...

You were out late the night before, do you bother arriving on time to work the next day? Your female co-worker leaves her purse unattended on her desk; do you help yourself to a few dollars? People diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder have problems with these types of scenarios, often choosing the self-serving option. They could be described as “conscience-less.” To understand the problem of the Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD), it is necessary to examine the role our conscience plays in interpersonal relationships. What exactly is a conscience? Free Dictionary defines it as “ the awareness of a moral or ethical aspect to one's conduct together with the urge to prefer right over wrong .” Various disciplines have their own answers about how the conscience is formed. Freud believed we have psychologically internalized the parental figures of our childhood to develop a “superego.” Christians say it is God’s voice or an internalized moral code that directs u...

I watched an interesting BBC (2001) movie, The Hole,  over the summer. The story begins with the main character Liz Dunn’s proposed version of the tragic deaths of her friends. We meet Liz giving her statement to the police and learn her perspective of what happened. It all started when four college students decided to spend a weekend in an underground military bunker instead of going on a school field trip. Liz had a crush on a fellow classmate and used this opportunity to get to know him better. As the story unfolds, however, it becomes apparent that Liz is lying and deliberately misleading, whereas the truth is much different. The movie then retells the weekend events. Liz is revealed as a self-serving mastermind of the horrific events that led to the deaths of her friends. She callously ignores her best friend’s plea for help in order to spend more time with her love interest, kills another friend to keep him from revealing the truth about the weekend, and then threat...

This article features a guest author, Ashley Rogers. She will provide tips on how to manage the daily stress in our lives.  Stress is a common problem. Though it’s natural, it can often get out of control and potentially lead to other problems.There are many ways to fight it, but there is no one way that will work for everyone. In order to find a way to deal with stress that works for you, consider the following methods. It may take multiple attempts or combinations, but you’ll likely find something here that can help you. 1. Exercise Exercise is a tried and true method of fighting stress, as well as other emotional negativity. This is because when you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which is what triggers a “runner’s high” or “second wind.”  Your pain tolerance increases & you often simply feel great. This can often last well after a workout, and have residual effects on your state of mind. 2. Music Music is also known to influence mood, whether we want...

Since Borderline Personality Disorder causes erratic, disruptive emotions and behaviors, it is no surprise that this condition negatively affects familial relationships. Children are particularly vulnerable to these effects since they have limited access to social, emotional, and tangible resources. They also do not have a perspective of normal parenting and cannot limit their contact with the ill parent. Children who have a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder must navigate a constantly changing relationship with that mother or father. Mason and Kreger in their classic book,  Stop Walking on Eggshells (1998), identified the following negative effects of BPD parenting. They have found parents with BPD—  May be unable to adequately consider their child’s needs, wishes, and feelings May be too preoccupied with their personal emotional experience and overlook their child’s needs May substitute their worldview for their child’s (for example, if they hate ...

There are many excellent books written about Borderline Personality Disorder.  Here are a few that I found particularly helpful.   Please be aware these references are not listed alphabetical, but rather in order of my favorite. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change by Valerie Porr, MA (2010, Oxford University Press) Valerie Porr, MA, is the founder of the non-profit organization Treatment and Research Advancement-NationalAssociation for Personality Disorder ( TARA APD) whose mission is to increase education and research in the field of personality disorder. She has written this outstanding book on BPD. It provides a comprehensive overview of the disorder, which includes the latest research on the etiology of the disease and the latest treatment options. It is primarily written for family members with loved one with BPD who are looking for effective coping strategies and compassionate interpersonal techniques to r...