Skip to main content

Personality Disorders: Introduction

Most of us have had an experience dealing with an extremely difficult person. We may have initially found this individual attractive. He (or she) seemed sincere and had interpersonal charisma. But once we began to trust this person, we discovered that he was not who he first appeared to be. We ended up being treated rudely or felt manipulated. Our interests were betrayed, leaving us feeling ripped off and deceived. This is a common scenario that happens when we encounter individuals who has some characteristics of a personality disorder.

 What is a personality disorder? The American Psychiatric Association in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) classifies ten distinct personality disorders. This manual is the primary guide mental health professionals use to identify various mental health conditions. The DSM-IV-TR defines personality disorders as “an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to distress and impairment.” In other words, personality disorders are a set of interpersonal habits and behaviors that develop by adulthood and are strikingly different from cultural norms.

Not all characteristics of personality disorders are problematic. Extremely shy people might have some tendencies of an avoidant personality. Graduate students who meticulously study for exams might be somewhat obsessive-compulsive. Most of us have a couple of traits of one of the identified personality disorders. Some of these characteristics help to make us uniquely ourselves. The critical factor in determining if the personality disorder tendency is problematic is whether these characteristics negatively impact our quality of life. For example, does our spontaneous nature result in unwanted credit card debt? Do we find it difficult to listen to others and to care about their concerns? Do we find ourselves easily fearful and are unable to try new things or visit new places? When our lifestyle and interpersonal relationships are affected, then our personality quirks are no longer cute, but have become a problem.

Over the next nine months I would like to spend some time on the topic of personality disorders. I hope these articles will be helpful in identifying general characteristics of the most troublesome personality disorders. I also want to provide suggestions on how to deal with mildly to moderately dysfunctional individuals. Should we risk having a relationship with someone who is struggling with a personality disorder? What do we do when this impaired person is our parent, sibling, spouse, or boss? Hopefully at the end of these articles we will have a better sense of how to protect ourselves while we continue to support our struggling loved ones.

In the next article we will begin to explore the dynamics and characteristics of  the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Narcissism: Understanding the Effects of Narcissistic Parenting

Since Freud, researchers have studied various environmental effects on maturing personalities, and it has been well documented that parenting styles are profoundly involved in the shaping of children’s developing psyches. It is hard enough working with a narcissistic boss or living with a narcissistic spouse, but being raised by narcissistic parents has several serious emotional consequences. What are some of these effects? Dr. Paul Meier in his book, You Might Be a Narcissist If . . . How to Identify Narcissism in Ourselves and Others and what We Can Do About It , identifies four consequences of narcissistic parenting. They are: 1) the  development of a false self; 2) the desire to behave with perfectionism; 3) chronic habits of passivity; and 4) increased vulnerability to addictive behaviors. The Development of a False Self Since narcissistic parents unconsciously need others to help soothe their fragile sense of self, they naturally turn to any available relationsh...

Thankful for God's Amazing Love

Thought: “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15: 20 (For whole story, please see Luke 15: 11-31) Thanksgiving Day is almost here and I have been thinking about what I am thankful for. I heard a great sermon recently that helped me in this endeavor. Though the story is familiar, the pastor presented a new slant that sheds light on God's amazing love. I found myself very thankful to God once again. Sermons usually focus on the prodigal son and his outrageous, selfish behavior. However, the pastor shared that the father in the story is the main character, not the prodigal son. Maybe instead of focusing on the son's rebelliousness, we should concentrate on the father's equally outrageous loving behavior. The pastor reminded us of the Old Testament Jewish law regarding disobedient sons. Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 tells us that rebellious sons are to be bro...

Tip #2: Empathy--- The Art of Reflective Listening

Thought: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 My father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer several years ago. We got the news in mid-March. After doing some internet research, we knew that his time would be short. We also discovered that most treatments were palliative, not curative. There was no remission or cure for this type of cancer. I was shocked. My grief started when I realized what this diagnosis meant. My father-in-law died four short months later. I shared his condition with various communities: my colleagues at work, my own family, and my church community. Some people were appropriately supportive. With them I found I could be honest about my feelings and reactions. Ot...